I walked outside a few mornings ago, and the air felt different in the backyard. The weather is starting to cool off here in Nashville, and it made me realize again how quickly the year has been passing, as we all continually adjust to a series of “new normals” in this first year of the decade.
2021 has been an important time of growth for me, both personally and artistically. Time doesn’t feel as “real” as it used to, and I often have to remind myself of how far I’ve actually come. I started this year in a completely different living & working situation, and in a matter of months have moved into a new home / studio and set out on a completely new path. I was able to juggle all of that while working on multiple long form projects with clients, and continually refining some personal creative work. Many shifts in my personal life happened as well, and all of those things really feel like huge steps forward in the larger journey. I truly feel lucky to be working on some of the best work of my career this year and as eager as I am to share more of it, I think the slower pace of progress has been ultimately healthy.
I found myself feeling incredibly thankful for all of it on that cooler-than-usual morning. The newfound gratitude was followed by a string of thoughts about how to share more of my journey with those who might be interested in it, resulting in this first blog post today.
Since the beginning of the pandemic I’ve put a lot more focus on new creative outlets, and absorbing myself into new disciplines. In addition to songwriting and my work in music production, I’ve also been pursuing other art forms such as film photography and abstract painting. I have yet to share much of my work in those mediums as I feel I am still early in developing my skills, but indulging in them in secret has been powerfully therapeutic and has opened me up to experiences of creative freedom that I couldn’t have anticipated. The power of simply showing up consistently and doing has proven to be fruitful so far.
Throughout this process of implementing new creative & life habits, I decided to withdraw my attention from social media, in attempt to stay more present with all aspects of my life. I was finding it increasingly distracting and addictive.
After having some solid distance over the past few months, I now feel even more conflicted when I do log in to check my messages. The platforms seem even more cheapened as time goes on, littered with more advertising than ever, and some strange unconscious pressure that pushes all of us to overshare regurgitated, politicized perspectives.
The constant engagement with this unpredictable mechanization of human emotion feels not only unnecessary, but unhealthy to me. I’ve come to the personal conclusion that it’s not only ineffective for me creatively to get sucked into this vaccum, but it puts me at the risk of sabotaging my efforts to maintain focus on doing exceptional work.
There seems to not be much use for it, other than to occasionally connect with a person of interest, or reach an established audience with short bursts of content, new finished work, or an upcoming event. Every time I think about sharing deeper thoughts or even some of this new artistic output I’ve worked so hard to create, it just feels like the wrong place to do so.
Even though I felt significantly more peace by spending time away from the algorithm, I still found myself craving an outlet to share more about what’s going on. There are so many moments I’ve captured here in the studio that are sitting on my phone, or in a folder of film scans that no one has seen. There are many thoughts I have about the process of doing my work and living my experience, that maybe others could find valuable if I shared them in the form of writing.
I thought about other ways that I could continue to let people in on what’s happening, in a more measured way. It occurred to me that I wasn’t utilizing one of the biggest resources I have; this site. It took me way too long to realize that I could easily use my own website to share more about what’s going on than I currently do. And the best part is, I get to decide how much I want to say, when I want to say it, and exactly how I say it, instead of competing with some algorithm for likes and follows from accounts who may or may not actually be interested in connecting on a more thoughtful level.
So with that being said, here we are. I’m not sure what the future holds for this, but my intuition tells me that there are likely others out there who’s path may bear some parallel resonance to mine. My hope is that sharing in a more intentional way, may actually be helpful to not just myself, but others as well. I know that the subtle fear I have of committing to “blogging” and starting something new, is likely just a sign that I’m supposed to pursue this.
“Are you paralyzed with fear? That’s a good sign. Fear is good. Like self-doubt, fear is an indicator. Fear tells us what we have to do. Remember one rule of thumb: the more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”
― Steven Pressfield
With that said, I appreciate you reading this far. I’ll look forward to sharing more, and exploring the possibilities of what I might be able to do with this tiny corner of the web.
Peace and love
-ag